Quotes

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
-- Errol Flynn

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
-- Frank McKinney Hubbard

A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
-- Dennis Miller

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
-- Henry Youngman

Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
-- Mike Tyson

You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
-- John Mendoza

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
-- Carrie Fisher

If you rest, you rust.
-- Helen Hayes

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
-- Sam Ewing (Readers Digest, Dec, 1997)

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
-- Lily Tomlin

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
-- Oscar Wilde

To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error.
-- Janet Coleman